Ghetto Name Builder

Building blocks of life
Originally uploaded by Digger Digger Dogstar

Ghetto Name Builder™:

Do you suffer the indignity of a plain old boring, vanilla name? Has no one in your entire life even once asked you how to spell or pronounce your name? Are you sick and tired of being able to walk up to any display of key chains secure in the knowledge that you could pick out your name right away? Perhaps you’ve been nursing a secret envy of the Trevontaes, DeShawns, and Ayre’ Jordans all around you. Now you, too, can build a Hood Masterpiece all your own with the helpful Ghetto Name Builder™ (patent pending!). You can create the Ghetto Name that you’ve always wanted. In less time than it takes to make a pitcher of grape KoolAid, you can Pimp Your Name.

Simply take the name that you wish to transform and add at least one of the afore-mentioned prefixes or suffixes (see The Rules post). Crafting a Hood Name is a highly subjective process, so feel free to add as many prefixes or suffixes as you like until you reach the desired sound. Keep in mind that creating a Ghetto Name is as much an art as a science, and it may be necessary to drop the first or last sound in the standard name to better match the selected prefix or suffix.

After the foregoing steps, if you are still dissatisfied with your Ghetto Name, consider utilizing "La", also known as the “Mother of All Prefixes”. "La "will instantly transform your standard name into Hood appropriate nomenclature. As a final measure, you could throw in one or more apostrophes for no particular reason.

Examples:

Tiffany becomes La’Tiffany*.
Mark is transformed into Markez, DeMarkez, or Tre’Markus*.
Sharon equates to Shavonte, Sharontice, or Sharontez.

*Double points awarded for unnecessary apostrophe usage.

To further illustrate the transformation process, what follows is a conversion chart with a partial listing of Ghetto Names and equivalent Standard Names.

Ghetto Name/Standard Name

Starkeisha /Buffy
Aquanetta /Candy
Cialis /Kayla
Anthronice / Antonia
Anfernee / Anthony
Shavonte / Sharon
Cristal / Crystal
La'Darryl / Darryl